I struggled for years with being okay with myself, and to be honest, I still have moments where I have to remind myself who I am.

It started in childhood.

Somewhere along the way, I began believing the lies that I wasn’t pretty enough. Growing up as a dark-skinned girl, comments from other people slowly became the voice in my own head. I carried those words with me far longer than I should have.

The hardest part wasn’t what people said. It was that I eventually believed them.

Looking back, I can see that the negative things I believed about myself didn’t just affect my confidence but influenced some of the decisions I made. When you don’t truly value yourself, it’s easier to settle for less than you deserve, ignore red flags, or accept treatment that doesn’t reflect your worth. I can’t blame every mistake on low self-esteem, but I do recognize it played a role in some of the choices I made.

As I got older, I realized something.

No amount of makeup, new clothes, weight loss, or compliments could fix what I believed about myself. If your identity is built on other people’s opinions, you’ll constantly be searching for validation that never lasts.

Ironically, becoming an esthetician taught me something I didn’t expect. I love helping women feel beautiful, but true confidence doesn’t come from perfect brows, flawless makeup, or glowing skin. Those things can enhance your beauty, but they can’t create your worth.

Real confidence begins when you stop measuring yourself by the world’s standards.

For me, that journey has also meant growing closer to God. The more I learn who He says I am, the less power the opinions of others have over me. That’s not to say I never struggle, but now I know where to take those struggles.

If you’ve spent years believing negative things about yourself, I want you to know this:

Healing doesn’t always happen overnight.

Sometimes it looks like choosing to speak kindly to yourself.

Sometimes it looks like taking care of your body because you value it, not because you hate it.

Sometimes it looks like asking God to help you see yourself the way He sees you.

And sometimes it simply looks like deciding you’re done believing the lies you’ve carried for years.

I’m still growing. I’m still learning. But one thing I know for sure is this:

The goal isn’t to become someone else.

The goal is to become comfortable with the woman God created you to be.